sometimes we lose, but its all good here

My sweet eleven year old son, Dawson, tried out for the middle school soccer team yesterday. And he didn't make it. But you know what, he took it amazing. He accepted that he didn't make the cut this year, that he could try next year, and that he was still a great child with many skills. Not to toot my own horn as his mom, but I think this great attitude comes from a few things that we do here in our home.
One is we have never gone along with the whole 'no loser' in any sort of game. There are winners and losers in every game that we play. I don't know why or when we decided to start hiding that fact from our children. I grew up in a win/lose environment as a child. We kept score, the folks that had Champion on their trophies were the true champs. I want my child to know who he/she is without having to 'win' at everything. We can lift our children up by simply pointing out the great things they did during the game. There can be victory in losing if you did better than you did last time or if you displayed a trait that is admirable.
Another word we use in our house is No. Just because someone else has something or does something doesn't mean we do it. It isn't always money based either. There are things that I could afford to give my children when they ask, but there are times when they just don't need what they are asking for . . . or gasp . . . they just don't deserve to have it at the time.
Now before you go and tell me what a bad parent I am for telling my kids they lose and they can't have things . . . let me tell you where they do know that they are always a winner and they can have everything . . . they have that confidence of being a winner because they know who they are in Jesus. They know their parents love them unconditionally and want what is best for them. And they know their ultimate prize is heaven.
So when I get up on the proverbial soapbox about losing a game or telling my kids no . . . know that at the same time I am reinforcing in them that God loves them and they are winners in his book.
As I looked at Dawson last night as he dealt with being sad about not making the cut, I was heartbroken for him. Then he warmed my heart with his positive attitude about it all. I am a blessed mom of four amazing kids.